Sometimes I make porn and stuff. Sometimes I just ramble.
This is a great pic. I’m not sure where it hangs or who took it but I want to thank John for sending it to me today.
* They left out the #1 and #2 thing that an older man can give a schoolgirl: LOTS OF CASH and the best 3 minutes of his life! 
When I was a kid we had mutha fuckin’ HALLOWEEN! Not this softcore shit that they are pushing today. In my neighborhood the kids only have TWO HOURS to get the job done. ONLY TWO HOURS for Halloween!!! What is this? What can you do in 2 hours?
To add fuel to the fire, it was from 5pm to 7pm. Who the hell trick-or-treats when the sun is still up? And I live in a safe upper-scale neighborhood, I can’t imagine what’s going on in the hood.
We would head out in full costume at sundown and be heathens, stealing candy, kicking in pumpkins and burning down scarecrows until at least 11pm. Sometimes until 2am. Every year, no exceptions. Halloween did not end until one of us was injured or the police were cruising the neighborhood running everyone home. Now they get 2 lousy hours. That is just sad. They should cancel Halloween if they are going to make it so lame that it is not memorable. Kids are supposed to play hard, get dirty, run wild and scream on this night. It’s the one night of the year kids are given a pass to be… KIDS.
Today the kids are too protected. These kids will grow up to be pussies and spoiled brats. Let them get dirty. Let them get hurt and break bones. That’s part of growing up and learning how to deal with things. Let them get into trouble, it teaches them lessons. You can’t even give your kid a good old fashion ass whipping anymore without fear for legal action. Truly unreal. I will tell you here and now that if… and that’s a big IF… I ever reproduce *gulp*, I will raise my child in a country where children can still be children and not treated like china dolls. They are kids for Christ sake, let them be. Let them enjoy their youth and break a few bones along the way… it’s good for them.
Male Talent aka “Fuck Monkeys”
I’m in the US now and hunting for some new guys to take to Thailand with me to bang girls and ladyboys. I have a few lined up but that is not what prompted me to post this. I need a few more.
I placed ads all over the local yahoo groups, Craig’s List and a few other sites that cater to the local sex scene. I gave very strict instructions as to what I was looking for and how to respond. One of the lines said “DO NOT REPLY WITHOUT A RECENT FULL NUDE PHOTO (not just your cock) OR WITHOUT LISTING YOUR AGE” and I go on to say how if you do the opposite of this, I will not even reply, blah, blah, blah and that there are no exceptions to this rule.
A few weeks have gone by and I have had close to 100 guys e-mail me. FOUR of them responded correctly. The other 96 either did not send photos, or sent me photos of their pathetic erect cocks and no mention of age.
Of course I did not reply to the idiots for some simple reason: If you can’t follow your FIRST simple instruction, I’m sure as hell not taking you to another country to shoot porn because you will be one of the idiots who get arrested or killed for doing something stupid. People, you are your own worst enemy. Self included.
I’m sure there are a few studs in that bunch but I’m not taking any chances. They had one simple thing they had to do, and the blew it.
Why is it that when your in the adult industry all your distant friends think you have a little “black book” with all the porn starts names in it? They think that you can make a call and Tera Patrick will just come on over and suck them off because… well, because she’s a whore and it is expected I guess.
Then there are those “friends” who you never hear from until they want to get dirty or they just got dumped. Then all of a sudden they are up in your business wanting to come around and get in on the shoots. “Do you have any numbers of any girls?” I was asked tonight. When I told him no, he thought I was bull shitting him. Maybe I was.
These are not real friends and I know this. I think I’m going to change all my contact info so none of these people can find me. My close friends would never dare ask such favors. And those are the guys you DO hook up when you can.
Maybe I need a good Tranny to surprise them. Yea bro, I have a hot porno girl for you. She sucks a mean cock, bro.
There. I said it.
I’m so sick and tired of getting fear pumped into us 24/7 by the media and the powers that be, often one of the same. Bird flu, be alert at the airports, be alert on the trains, watch out of carbon monoxide gas, AIDS, terrorist want to kill us, there are stolen nuclear weapons, Anthrax, chemical warfare, Muslim extremists, and I’m sure I am missing out on 50 others but you get the point. It’s like we’re all living at DEFCON 2.
People are supposed to die. Shit happens. A plague happens every 100 years or so and we are overdue. Lets lighten up and a bit and let the cards fall where they may. It’s a fact that you and I are going to die so lets accept this fact and enjoy what life we have instead of worrying sick about everything that is fed into our little sheep minds. I refuse to live in fear of this garbage because it is totally out of our control. Don’t fear bird flu, fear 25 Colombian military police kicking your door in accusing you of making child porn. That is fear.
As I write this bird flu BS post I’m gearing up for Thailand and of course, they are having bird flu problems. Last year it was SARS, which by the way I was quarantined for when I got back to the USA. That is a funny story within itself and will tell you about it later. Before SARS, Thailand had AIDS. I’m sure something is already in the works for when we are no longer afraid of SARS. Something new will emerge and scare us all to death. It will be a pandemic and probably global. You will be afraid to leave your house and the stock market will fall because of it, while the pharmaceutical companies who create the vaccine will see record profits. It’s all become so predictable. Yawn.
A woman who lives but a few minutes from me was arrested today for not paying ONE DOLLAR ($1) in taxes. Unreal.
Look at this if you dare. Then find Jesus because your going to need him. But before you even think about Jesus, meet Buck.
OK, now start thinking about Jesus.
Where do we go from here? Please enlighten me because after this, I’m not sure what’s going on anymore.
No, I’m not talking about Ass To Mouth, I mean real ATM money machines. Get your head out of the shitter already.
I actually had the chance to see some of these being used down in Colombia where they are trying this new technology. Very cool stuff. You stick your thumb down on a pad and it reads your print. As long as it’s YOU, you get cash.
The only problem I see is people getting robbed or killed and forced to go to the ATM or even worse, have their dead body taken to the ATM. Anyone think of a solution for that yet because… well… it is Colombia.
There was a linked story here but Yahoo moved it and the link is broken. I’m not sure what good a site is like Yahoo if all their old links are broken.
I have not laughed this hard in a long time. This guy was one of the looters in New Orleans and this photo hit the internetz and within hours, 100’s of new pics of him have been created.
If this cat isn’t the greasiest, nappiest, funkiest ass black man on the planet, I don’t know who is. Off all the things to be looting, he chooses beer. He even has one in his back pocket. Maybe Looter Guy and Kincade are related? Hmmmmmm.
Looter Guy even has a website. Check it out here.
Well, there goes my planned trip to Bali this winter. 22 Dead, 50 injured. This is the 2nd attack in 3 years, the first being in October 2002.
I think the world is being too easy on countries who harbor terrorist. The “Axis Of Evil” countries. Call me crude, but we (or someone) should give these shit holes 48 hours to deport all terrorists and extremist from their country or we will kindly remove the country in question from the map. We have an asshole for a president who is willing to fight this “war on terror” and I think he is just the prick to get the job done. Everyone already hates him, why not go out hated AND be known as the man who stomped out terrorism.
Seriously, what the fuck is going on here?
Does anyone know who made this or if there is more of it?
If porn at the airport is going to be seized, I’d love to be a fly on the wall when some weirdo comes through with an entire laptop full of crazy shit like this.
I’m home 1 day and I read this. Things are getting WAY out of hand. They need to be worried about extremist trying to high-jack planes and not jack off material that is being carried INTO the USA. What is happening to this country?
Follow this link for the full story.
I wish them the best of luck trying to identify what obscenity or “normal pornography” is right there at the airport. “Normal pornography” for me is when 2 Asian girls are pissing on each other while getting fucked my multiple black men. So “normal pornography” is relative.
It does say on the customs form that “obscene material is GENERALLY prohibited” and I have used that argument many times when they have searched me and found my porn. So far no problems. Only time will see how far these ass hats will go. My guess is, they will go as far as they can and then go a little further. We’ll all let them do it and then complain along the way.
As you can see, my last couple blog entries have been a little insane. We have had our share of police and guns and are now taking a long needed break, safe and sound in the good ‘ol USA.
Of all my times of traveling I have never missed the USA and most times dreaded the idea of returning home. After such a hellish trip to Colombia, I actually missed this place and as a joke when I got off the plane I bent down to literally kiss the ground, thankful to be on US soil.
The funny thing is that I had on a very heavy backpack and when I bent over it shifted forward hitting me in the head and pushing my face quickly into the ground. I spent the rest of the night with ice on my nose and lips trying to reduce the swelling. Ahhhh… home sweet home. America – Fuck ya!
I knew this was going to happen the moment we met that little fucking Pimp kid. Even while trying to do the right thing and not work with him, the little fucker showed up the next day at our hotel with a few girls (who were over 18) in an attempt to pimp them out. Apparently he knew the taxi driver we were using and he brought that little fucker right back to us.
Here is a rough play by play of what happened.
At around 7:30am someone was knocking on my door. I’m naked, dazed and pissed off, but I get, turn on a light, wrap a towel around my bottom and walk over to open the hotel door. The moment I cracked it open, the force from the other side pushed it open as fast as they could. Within an instant, I was on the ground with what feels like boots on my neck, arms and legs, rendering me totally unmovable. There was fast, loud shouting in Spanish and I could see the barrels of a few large machine guns pointing at my head. Oh… my… God. I’m I being kidnapped? Is this the police? Am I going to die? All thoughts racing through my mind at a million miles a second. I came as close to shitting in my pants as a person can get, without actually shitting in their pants.
Colombian police raided our two hotel rooms SWAT style. About 20 military police and 5 or 6 more plain clothed special agents woke us up and turned our rooms upside down. Every pocket, every bag and every pillow case was checked as well as our computers and all our mini DVs that we had been shooting on.
During the process, we had no idea what was going on. After they slowed their speech down, I was able to understand they were there for the pornos and they left it at that.
We had two rooms, Derrick and I in one room, Kincade and Sand in the other. All the gear and mini DVs were in Kincade’s room, and the computer was in my room.
About 20 minutes after the raid on my room the phone rings. It’s kincade.
Kincade: Dude, are the police in your room?
Me: Yup.
Kincade: We’re fucked man.
Me: Did they find the camera?
Kincade: Yup. But they can’t figure out how to turn it on.
Me: Good, don’t show them. They will never figure it out.
Kincade: OK. You know Sand has weed, right?
Me: I do now. Yea, we’re fucked.
Kincade: I’ll call you back.
Me: OK, keep your cool. We’ll work through this.
20 minutes later my phone rings again.
Kincade: Dude, they figured out the camera and are watching the movies.
Me: Fuck!
Kincade: No worries though, the weed is hidden.
Me: OK, check back later.
About 30 minutes later, the phone rings yet again.
Kincade: They found the weed.
Me: That’s the good news I was looking for.
Kincade: See you at the jail boss.
Me: Yup.
After spending a few hours in the room, we were taken to a holding cell at the station.
We spent the next three days there. It was the longest three days of my life. No word of what the charges were. No phone calls allowed. No nothing.
On the last day, they come to the cell, open the door and tell us we are free to go. WTF!?!?
As it turns out, Colombia has a huge problem with pedophiles and people shooting child porn. When the pimp showed up at our hotel uninvited, the manager called the police as I’m sure it looked suspicious why a boy was coming to our hotel room with girls, who even though were over 18, they looked young.
The police came for us thinking we were fucking with kids. Of course we were not but they didn’t know that. They did a full investigation that took three days to confirm we were only shooting porn with legal models. Once they knew we were legit and their investigation was complete, they let us go but kept our gear. I was told we will get it back later but I’m not going to hold my breath on that one. Truth be told, I could care less, I have my freedom. The police didn’t give a shit about the weed, but kept it anyway.
I thought we were locked with the key tossed away, but they later said they could care less about the girls we had shot as long as they were of legal age. They were only there looking for pedophiles or child pornographers, which we are not, so we were free. They said shooting legal models there was not a problem, but I’ve had my fair share of fun in Cali, Colombia and it’s time to move on.
As we walk out of the station, Kincade turns to me and says, “where to now boss?” I didn’t know if he was just that hardcore or if he didn’t really fully understand the situation we were in. Either way, he’s a fucking Storm Trooper.
This was the 2nd most scary moment of my life. The 1st was in Venezuela a few years ago with my brother when we were taken off a bus in the Andes mountains (on the Colombia / Venezuela border) at gun point by guerrillas. They took all the men off the bus, lined us up and pointed guns at us while the leader checked our documents. It was without a doubt a shit your pants moment. In the end they let us all go but until we were put back on the bus, I thought death was just around the corner.
I think I’m going to check Colombia off my list of countries to shoot in. Eh, maybe not. What are the odds of this happening again? Right?
There was a Colombian airplane hijacked today but it hasn’t made US news yet.
God does not want me to be online and tell you about all the amazing pussy down here. In fact, he hates the thought of me tell you about it so much that he has condemned me to Internet Hell. Why, you ask? Because he is a cock blocker. A cock blocker of such magnitude that if you even tried to fathom just how big a CB he is, you’re mortal head would just implode.
Honestly, why would you even claim to have the internet if I could get information faster to you via currier pigeon? “FREE INTERNET HERE” the sign says on the door. My ass. I guess it could be worse, I could be digging ditches somewhere or sold into labor slavery in India.
OK… Pssst… God is not paying attention right now so listen up. Last night we went to a local disco in the barrio, danced salsa until 4am and drank so much Rum that it is a real challenge to type at this moment. I’m pretty sure I had sex with two girls but I was tossed, as far as I know one of them (or both) could be trannies. Not that it even matters right now bec… ah shit, he’s coming back and looking over here, I’ll catch back up later when the big CB is sleeping.