When dudes are uploading tube videos of themselves beating off to your videos, you can pat yourself on the back and bask in the sweet warm glow of success.
I’m not going to watch this guy rub one off to find out, but if any of you do and he shoots his load on his screen, please post a comment here about it. It would bring Kincade great joy to know his face was covered in man juice.
Mr. Kincade slips to the dark side. Yea, I know I said I was not going to post for a while but this is blog worthy. Remember how I lost Kincade? Well, he finally showed up just in time to catch our taxi to Pattaya and to let me hear all about his episode from the night before.
Apparently, Mr. Kincade pulled a post-op ladyboy off the street that night and didn’t know until it was too late. For those of you who don’t know what that means, a “post-op” is a transsexual who has had “the surgery” and had his/her cock turned into a pussy. Often these are the prettiest of all ladyboys in Thailand and due to the fact that they take so many hormones, it really can be difficult to tell until it’s too late. Just about every guy I know has been fooled or was close to being fooled by a stunning post-op at one time or another, self included. But I’ll tell ya, mine was straight off the pages of Penthouse Magazine. A perfect 10. It was only the lack of vaginal lubrication that gave her away. However, that is a story for another time.
Kincade tells me a blow by blow of his story and it was similar to mine, but he said that she was so hot and so horny that he didn’t care, and did her anyway. ALL NIGHT LONG AND ALL MORNING LONG!!! Wow! Go Kincade!
When we made it to Pattaya, we dropped off the bags and headed to the mall where I asked him if he was fucking with me or not because this was out of character for him. He turns to me with this face (see pic), and says “do I look like I’m fucking with you? I fucked a ladyboy and liked it.” It was priceless.
Will he continue down this slippery slope? I’m going to bet on yes. Stay tuned!
Kman sent this to me today.
I don’t remember high school girls whoring out and looking like little sluts when I was in school.
Or maybe they did and I just didn’t appreciate it. Which would make sense as to why older guys are always getting caught nailing girls in high school because they don’t appreciate it until they are older. But while you’re the same age as them, you don’t have a clue what to do with it.
So it is fair to say that life is unfair.
Hell is… not knowing what to do with high school sluts until you’re too old and it’s against the law.
The police have been cleaning up Pattaya (again) and I am sad to say that my favorite sleazy street in all of Thailand was raided today and 10 bar managers were arrested. That’s right, they raided the infamous Soi 6 once again.
The new CCTV cameras that are supposed to be installed in EVERY BAR freaks me out a little. Ok, freaks me out a lot. I guess gone are the days of getting your cock sucked (in public) at My Friend You Bar while drinking a Singha beer and high fiveing your buddy, all while 10 other guys are getting their cocks sucked. Or… as always, this is just another “crackdown” that will blow over.
After reading review after review on AVN regarding movies shot in Thailand, one thing I noticed was a common thread among them all. Regardless of the reviewer, regardless of if it was a good or bad movie, regardless of how many A’s they gave it, regardless of the director or company, almost every single one of them felt compelled to make a comment about the Thai girls being prostitutes. They just had to throw in that they were working girls, or it was just another days work for them.
Well, there is one exception and it was Hustler, time and time again. Not a single word was written about the Thai girls Hustler has shot in Thailand. It’s not really shocking as Hustler drops quite a but of cashola into AVN for ads. However, Hustler’s Asian Fever movies, shot in Thailand (with the exception of the last one which was pretty damn good), are among the worst movies to ever come out of Asia. I have actually fallen asleep watching Asian Fever and they are totally impossible to masturbate to. I’m a fan of many of the Hustler lines, just not what they shoot in Thailand. However, this is not a “pick on Hustler” post so I will get back to the issue at hand, AVN vs Thailand.
So why do they take their stabs at the Thai girls in every movie except Hustler’s movies?
Well, besides the fact that the girls are all hookers, you have to stop and wonder why the wouldn’t just say they are amateur or first time girls. After all, that is what they say about white girls, Latin girls and black girls if it was shot in LA, South America or Europe.
And what about the models in LA, Europe or South America who make porn and are also prostitutes? Many of them escort and sell their pussy off camera, yet they are “stars,” “models,” “actresses,” and “talent.” And lets not forget that EVERY girl who ever stepped in front of a lens, in any country, did fact get paid for her services. So why are the Thai girls getting singled out? Make no mistake about it, a large majority of the girls in the porn industry are in fact hookers, so what’s the difference?
But don’t take my word for it, here are some quotes I pulled off the reviews:
Black Thai Affair
Reviewed by: Mike Albo
Review: “The girls are all of the Thai hooker variety: not too toned, not too enthusiastic and not all that clean looking.”
Asian Insemination
Reviewed by Bradley Milton
Review: “Truthfully, it wouldn’t be too far off the mark to suggest that Pornero’s performers are hookers.”
Fresh Thai Cream Pies 2
Reviewed by Darklady
Review: “If the women portrayed here are any kind of representative sample, pierced tongues and eyebrows are all the rage among Thailand’s Pattaya bar girls. This surprisingly and sometimes almost disturbingly arousing release introduces five young working girls who take their job seriously. Retailing: More an attraction for admirers of Thai sex workers, with the cream pies as a kind of bonus.”
Bangkok Suckee Fuckee
Reviewed by Bradley Milton
Review: “The sex is pretty good, but it sometimes appears as if the girls are street pros servicing this crazy Yank with a video camera.”
Bangkok Suckee Fuckee 4
Reviewed by Darklady
Review: “When shopping for a porn friendly Thai prostitute, there’s no knowing what to expect until show time. Retailing: For those seeking a grittier, sex-for-sale experience.”
Black Cock in Bangkok
Reviewed by Nelson X
Review: “Although it’s obvious the Thai girls in this release aren’t strangers to the concept of money for sex, they do appear to be genuinely timid about doing it for the cameras.”
Teeny Thais 2
Reviewed by Marc Star
Review: “The footage in Teeny Thais 2 may have been imported from Thailand, or these girls are either first or second-generation immigrants. Either way, they’re authentic Thai girls – some of who have the detached interest of Thai street hookers.”
Babes in Thailand 3somes
Reviewed by Guy Norhinf
Review: “With one of the more basic, simple titles in recent porn history, Babes in Thailand 3somes shows off 10 regional cuties in prostitute-style hotel-room sex.”
Asian Street Hookers 43
Reviewed by Nick Strauss
Review: “With the exception of Jade, all the girls in the title might actually be Thai street hookers, which isn’t much of a selling point either. The entire production has that taint of an illegal and unregulated sex industry that our adult entertainment biz strives to steer clear of.”
Asia Bootleg 4
Reviewed by Marc Star
Review: “These girls are pros. In fact, they may be too pro, because they just don’t seem to get any pleasure out of having sex. Decent enough considering it’s just another day’s work for these girls.”
Of course there are more, but I lost interest after looking at all of these ridiculous comments.
Did someone in charge at AVN get a bad case of the drippy dick while on a sexcapade in Bangkok? Or did he wake up after a night of drunken debauchery only to find out that his girl can piss standing up and that he in fact had been fucking Ladyboy ass all night?
If anyone has the answer to why AVN has a hard on for Thai whores, I’m all ears. Otherwise I’m going to place my money on a drippy dick / Ladyboy combo.
Oh, and a personal note to the AVN reviewers… you suck. Seriously.
Minus the used rubber on the tube and the void of natural heavy hanging tits, this is my kind of woman. Broke, messy, strung out, sexy, naked and with a big knife! My guess is that she’s a stripper.
I’d marry this dysfunctional whore.
I would eat a mountain of dick just to spend one hour in between this baby maker’s glorious tits.
Yurizan is my new addiction, and it’s a bad one. For what I like in a woman in terms of body build and over appearance, it does not get any more perfect that this.
SweetYurizan.com is her site.
Seriously, I’d make a lot of babies with this woman, regardless of if she is bat shit crazy or not, and chances are she is. Actually… scratch that, I’d make a tribe with her. I’d breed her until her uterus fell out.
OK… the restraining order should be arriving any time now I’m sure. Any minute now… Any minute…
As many of you know, I’m from the Midwest. Born and raised in Ohio but zoned out of Cincinnati for running an adult business, so I packed up the van and moved to Kentucky. Northern Kentucky that is.
So I get great pleasure when local girls get into porn or some other kinky shit. What I just found out is the worlds largest gang bang is going to be held in Columbus, Ohio on May 17th!!! 1001 guys!!!!
I don’t know if it’s really the largest or they are just saying it is, but there is a bonus: The last 25 guys get to fuck her bareback and cum INSIDE HER!!!!
I live for nasty shit like this. When I’m not whacking off thinking about big natural tits, I’m thinking about girls getting creampied my multiple men. Real life cum depositories. I’m not sure if I will be in town but if I am, I will volunteer to be the last man pumping. I’ve got 89% wood right now just thinking about this filthy event.
Her name is Erin Daye, she’s a filthy cum whore, and this is her site… Click Here
I have slept a total of about 8 hours in the past 4 days. I’m mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. However, I am now safe and sound among the rest of the fat people in the USA. Home sweet home… time to order a pizza.
Lots to write about. Let me recharge a bit and I will get back at it. Maybe.
Oh, and can someone tell me why it is fucking freeeeeeeezing in APRIL???!!!???
So the other night I was driving my moped (because that’s who I roll), heading back to the crib and did my routine stop at the Family Mart to pick up some water and Gatorade. I had been having a great day, banged a hot chick a few hours before and was still thinking about her glorious tits as I pulled up to a mass of people on the side of the road near Family Mart, looking across the street into the condo complex. At the time I didn’t think much of it and went into the store, got my goods and walked out. Then I saw a police truck pull up (with police in the back) along with a motorbike policeman right behind it. Knowing that’s where John T Bone was staying, three thoughts came to my mind: 1) John had a heart attack. 2) They had a problem at one of their shoots. 3) John is in trouble. If you guessed what was behind door #3 you are correct.
I called my Thai friend to come and find out what was going on. She arrives and starts talking to all the locals, then tells me they arrested a guy for making sex movies. Now, this is not the first time this condo has been used for sex movies, but as far as I know, John was the only one there at the time making them. “Uh-oh” I thought, and sat down to eat some noodles and watch it unravel. They eventually brought John out and put him in a van and took him away with another guy (which I missed while I went to pee). The guy ended up being Vin Cross (another producer – shot for Hustler) but at the time I didn’t know that. There was a lot of guys walking around, taking pics and what not, all of which turned out to be plain clothed police officers, and then the news came that John went to the police station.
Right about now I’m shitting bricks because my room was just a few buildings down, so I went back and started packing. The next morning it was confirmed to me exactly what happened (via other sources) so I split town on the next flight out of the country.
Then it officially hits the news and it was only a matter of hours before the adult webmasters in Thailand had this all over the internet.
Then today I hear that I am to blame for this arrest.
Then I read on another adult gossip site that I make videos with underage performers.
Both are absurd, however it appears that John and Vin (or someone from their camp) are hell bent on taking me (or others) down with them and blame me for their reckless work habits that led to their arrests. One of the sites states that the police have a photo of John shooting that was taken by me a few weeks before. Again, that is not true. I have not worked with John or taken any pics for him, of him, for well over a year now. However, John’s blog is full of pics of him shooting models there and I’m sure that is where it came from. But I guess a man needs to point his finger at someone rather than to look in the mirror.
So for the record, I did not turn anyone in, and I do not shoot children. My documents are the best in Thailand and anyone who has dealt with me knows this. I can back up any ID I have. And if I were to turn anyone in that would be slitting my own throat because it will without question put what we do more in the spotlight. Not very smart. As of now it looks like nobody is going to be shooting in Thailand because the police were notified without a doubt about other sites, courtesy of John.
This was a quote from John in the news:
“Mr. John Gilbert Bowen said that his was not only the website that is dedicated to the porn business; there are literally thousands of them. As most of the customers of these porn sites are foreigners, Bowen considered they should not be illegal. If the police want to arrest him, he continued, then they should arrest those who run every other porn website, as well.”
I’m not sure how this will play out. It’s not good to see anyone going to jail in any country, however I have a feeling that I’m going to get sucked into their pile of shit. I’m going to get my boots on and will be open for comments if anyone wants to chat about this or has other info.
I have been trying to shoot very little in Thailand these days, but when I do, I like to shoot 1 or 2 movies to pay for my travel expenses. Usually about 5 minutes into the first shoot I find myself thinking, “Why are you doing this? Why are you wasting your time with this bubble gum porn?” Then by the end of the shoot I confirm with myself that it really is not worth the money.
For starters, Thai people are just not sexual. Yea, they will blow darts out of their ass on stage for all to see, but off stage they are generally shy and not really into porn. And yea, they know how to dress like whores, but most of them have no clue what “sexy” really means, even after Justin Timberlake recently brought it back. And yea, there are more prostitutes here selling ass than probably anywhere else on earth, but that doesn’t mean they want to make porn or are any good at it.
They often look the opposite of where you ask them to look, cum without warning, complain they hurt, show up late, leave early, lie about everything and try to pass off bogus IDs on you, and then steal something on the way out the door just for the sake of stealing. And I pay them to do this.
This trip started as a vacation with my brother and turned into another trip from hell. Due to the restrictions on my award ticket, I was not able to go home to care of the problem in my living room. You remember, the one were my ceiling collapsed and it rained in my living room for two weeks while the house sat empty. It still sits a mess, mildewing as I type this.
Luckily my good friend here let me use his gear to shoot a couple of movies to offset my costs. The least I can do for his generosity is give him a link to his site, so please visit OnProbation.com.
Mr. Kincade cashed in some miles to come over for 10 days to help me work. His second day here, he pinched a nerve in his back and is just now getting back on his feet, but he’s still in a lot of pain.
Then I saw this God awful mess.
This once again made me question it all. Here is a tranny who does not care enough about herself to get this taken care of. This is quite possibly the worst case of “something” I have ever seen.
Of course she did not even tell me about this and let me get through 75 photos before I went down for that tranny under shot to see her balls, then SURPRISE!
This dumb cunt actually thought she could do a wack-off scene for me and it would not be noticed.
Out of the goodness of my tiny Grinch heart, I paid her 2000 baht to go to the doctor, but we both knew she was going to by yaabaa (drugs) with it and it would be smoked before the sun would rise.
How could you have this on your nuts and NOT be taking care of it? I mean, look at this shit, you know it hurts, but she is still out selling her asshole every night. Unreal.
It’s very difficult to get motivated to work with people who show up with shit like this on their body and try to lie to you about it, then steal your deodorant on the way out the door.
Amazing Thailand.
At 7:04am my phone rang just about the time where I was nodding off to sleep. It was Thailand’s infamous ladyboy Amy Amour.
Me: This had better be good or someone better be dead, it’s 7am.
Amy: Mr. Dee, what do you do now?
Me: Sleep!!!
Amy: Ok, good. You can come to take my photo now?
Me: You smoking yaabaa?
Amy: No Mr Dee, why you ting-tong so much? I no sa-moke yaabaa.
Me: Mmm hmmm.
Amy: So you take my photo or not? Today I have good heart and I give you for free.
Me: Where do you want to meet?
Amy: The gay beach in Jomtien.
Me: Hmmmm. OK, See you in 30 minutes. You better be there.
I hang up the phone and grab my travel camera. I have this nice Canon Powershot that can take some really nice shots and it’s small and easy to travel with so I take it everywhere with me. So out the door I went.
We met at the “gay beach” (Dongtan Beach) as the sun hit about 200 degrees. I shot a handful of photos of her, and it wasn’t long before she had to squint so I called it a wrap. I explained to her that it would be est if she called me next time BEFORE the sun came up so we can work while it’s cool and the sun is giving off that warm morning glow.
What happened next is still a bit of a blur, but we ended up at a water park. No, a real water park, she did not piss on me, nor I her. A Thai water park is much like the water parks around the rest of the world except they don’t care about the safety of their customers. You can ride the speed slides with people on your back, which we did and she rode me like a surf board. You can attempt to stand up as you fly down the super slide, which we did not do but plenty of the Thai boys did and busted their ass along the way.
Face first, ass first, upside down, and with a topless ladyboy on your back… all is fair game in the land of smiles and chlorine filled water.
Lat me back up a minute and tell you that I last about 5 minutes at this place before injury #1 occurred. She ushered me up to the largest speed slide and demanded that I went first. “You da man, you go first!” I told her. She found that amusing, but pushed me along and somehow I ended up sitting at the top of this shoot looking down into the shallow waters below, where I would soon end up. The thing that worried me the most, besides my size and weight, is that everyone in the water below was only waist deep.
Somehow, I am supposed to come down this slide into waist deep water and not end up a cripple. I’ve done much worse and dangerous things in my life, so off I went.
About 5 seconds into this slide I was struck my fear. I was going waaaaay too fast. The water is going to be too shallow for my fat ass and I’m going to get hurt, there is no question about it. The logical thing to do was to stick my hands to the edges of the fiberglass slide and try to slow myself down.
Dumb idea.
What I actually did was seriously burn, as in major friction burn, 6 of my 10 fingers. This did not actually slow me down but I was going so fast I did not feel the burn at the time.
I hit the water and to my surprise skipped across it and walked out of the pool, at which time my fingers felt like they were being mashed onto a grill. I sucked it up because I did not want to look like a tourist pussy, and headed back up to go one a much smaller and curvy slide where I was to become a human surf board for a transsexual and two small Russian boys who were also allowed, not by me, to mount my body just before I shoved off.
I’m sure it was quite a site. Me, the chunky American, a small transsexual, and two Russian kids about 10 years old each, were speeding down this slide screaming like little girls. For a moment, it was fun. However, the fun didn’t last long and after a few more body surfing trips, I got a wild hair up my ass to go face first, superman style, down the biggest speed slide.
I don’t know exactly how fast I was going but it had to be near the speed of light. I think the shove off is what made it worse because when I hit the first “hump,” I caught air and traveled about 10 feet in the air before having the wind knocked out of my body as I hit, only to pick up more speed. At this stage, it would be normal to shit your pants, but as I found out, humans are unable to shit themselves while traveling the speed of light. Who knew?
What happened next is a little fuzzy, but I do remember hitting the water so fast and going under water. My trunks started to pull off my body because of the speed in which I hit the water. I could feel them slipping off as I was darting underwater and with my hands, I reached out like Christopher Reeves in his finest Hollywood hour.
At this point I could have let them slip off as I’m sure it was not the first time this has happened coming off of this bullet side, and for certain it would not be the first time my pants had fallen off somewhere foreign.
I don’t know where in my mind I thought I could just hunch over and pull up my shorts, but when I made even the slightest tilt of my head, I shot straight down and smashed my head in the shallow water while traveling at a speed that should have killed me or at least broke my neck, in true Superman style. It felt like someone hit me in the head with a large hammer, then I blacked out for a few seconds and came to on my back floating in the water.
My head was spinning, and I didn’t realize how hurt I was, but the little persistent tranny got me up for one more surf ride before I drove her on my moped to her friends house (another hot ladyboy) where they played with Barbie Dolls and made me watch the Victoria Secret DVD while they acted it out. It was a strange afternoon.
After chilling out for a while I knew I needed to have my head looked at as the throbbing was becoming more intense. I knew this feeling well from years of skateboarding as a kid and falling on my head. I spent the next couple hours at the Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital where they checked me out and around 1pm, they confirmed my thoughts of a mild concussion.
It had been a glorious morning but it did not come without injury to my fingers, neck, head, left shoulder, left ear and skin. Oh yea, I think I forgot to mention that my head and face are burnt to a crisp.
If there is a moral to this story, I think it has something to do about not answering your phone at 7am when you are called out of the blue, by a ladyboy.
Hell is…
A trip to Asian wouldn’t be complete for me unless I got sick. So in the middle of trying to get out of here, I have been fighting a bad cold that has now gone from bad to worse. I thought it would go away as most colds do but this one has moved over warm water and has been upgraded to a full scale hurricane.
On a “sick scale” of 1 – 10, 10 being that I die from dehydration, and 1 being the common cold. The worst I have ever been was a high 9 in Venezuela (I literally almost died there) and a high 8 once as I was leaving Thailand and was quarantined for SARS upon re-entering the USA, I am right now sitting on 6 pushing to a low 7.
I’m 3rd world country street dog sick.
I would welcome death right about now just to make my body stop hurting. However, only if it was quick and hurt less than what I hurt right now.
So I’m laying in my hotel bed going in and out of conscientious, thanks to some meds I picked up at the pharmacy, and surfing the web completely out of my mind, freezing to death. I can only assume I’m cold because of a fever. Please excuse my blabber, I probably shouldn’t even be writing right now.
Tomorrow I’m going to the hospital. I tried to go today but I made it about a mile and the bumps on the road were rattling my frail bones and it almost brought me to tears, so I turned around and went back to bed.
I’m feeling loopy again. Good night.
I have been on a long needed mini-vacation, but reality struck me hard on my first day back on the grind when I rolled into Thailand to find that several of my DVDs are being bootlegged on the streets. 
God damn this place! As if it’s not difficult enough, now I have to explain to the girls why their movies are selling in their country, after I told them it never would.
Anyway… my little brother and I have been running around Asia checking out temples, beaches and whores for the past 2 weeks and have had a blast. He had his first 3 way and we both got sun burned after a full day boating around the Phi Phi Islands. Somehow we ended up in Cambodia and spent a few days eating “Happy Pizza” while running around like fools at Angkor Wat.
Good times.
So now I’m sitting in a room with a broken air-con and little piss ants crawling all over the table where I’m typing, and wondering if these little fuckers will ruin my laptop if they get inside of it, or will the heat of the laptop just cook them alive. Speaking of cooking alive, while we were out and about we munched on crocodile meat, silk worms and even a fried tarantula!!! Believe it or not the tarantula tasted pretty damn good, much like BBQ. Eating tarantula seems to be something normal of parts of South East Asia. Go figure.
Some of you may or may not know that I am fluent in Khmer. One of the days we were at Angkor, I ran into the old man you see about and shot the shit with him all day long.
What a wise old man he was. We talked about everything including where to find the “happy pizza” that we would eat the next day. He was a very cool monk.
I love taking photos here because the contrast of the Monk’s orange robes against the dark stone on the temples is amazing. We shot a ton of photos that day but I’m too lazy to load them all up, so here are two.
Oh… and I’m not really fluent in Khmer but he did speak enough English to direct us to the Happy Pizza.
That is another story.
Koko and Jiji are two of my favorite ladyboys to work with.
They are a little older in ladyboy years, but they are super easy to get along with and will do just about anything you ask.
This pic was taken during the Black Ops “Gender Blender” shoot.
2006 was the year of the Heathen.
In Asia it will soon be the turn of the new year. Not by their calendar, but by ours and it is the American way to say that’s all that matters.
I can honestly say that 2006 flashed by me in a blink of an eye, and a squirt of a cumshot.
We worked too much. I’m not sure exactly how much content we shot, but it was a lot. Many, many, many DVDs worth. For me, 2006 is one cum shot after another and one immigration line after another.
While I made a lot of money in 2006, I lost touch with a few friends along the way. It’s a shame how that works out.
With the help of a few good women, I made a couple of babies. Most of which never took their first breath. Not the first time I have been with a woman who had an abortion, but it still weighs on my soul sometimes. An ex-girlfriend of mine had an abortion and I went into the room with her during the process. The sound of the device while sucking out a child, the vacuum I assume they call it, was almost too much to deal with. She was crying, “you’re killing my baby.” It was heavy.
I’m getting off track.
With the help of my brother from another mother, I started a new business. It’s still in it’s infancy, but 2007 looks like it’s going to be a good year. I can’t wait to pay Uncle Sam more of my hard earned money. He and his wife are the only married couple I know who appear to be happy. Not good odds for those of you idiots who are getting married in 2007.
I caught Gonorrhea once. OK, twice. Those Asian strains are som bitches to get rid of as they have grown resistant to the standard meds used to clear up the drip. You learn something new every day don’t ya?
When I go back to the USA, I feel like a stranger now. I don’t know where anything is in my apartment anymore. I can’t find all the light switches in the dark. But the trade off to forgetting where your light switches are, is an incredible apartment in Thailand with an ocean view.
I spent time in Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Philippines & Singapore. Fucked whores in all of them. That’s not my purpose for travel but it does help me waste the time after I’m done doing the tourist shit or adventure roaming. So I did get around in 2006, literally, and had to have 20 more pages added to my passport after getting refused departure in Cambodia for not having a single place for them to place an exit stamp. They refused to stamp the very back because it has an autograph of Kid-Rock on it.
During this miserable experience in Cambodia, I sent a text message to a friend of mine and got this reply: “cool. find a whore 2 fuck while you r there.”
Whore mongers to the end.
One night out drinking I lost a shoe and didn’t notice it until I was sobering up and it was long gone. That morning I held onto my bed and vomited out of control, minus a shoe, as the room twirled out of control. That was the last time I went drinking with Jscott and Dugmor.
I met some great new friends. Met some strange fuckers and a few people who I would rather not see again. I also grew a deep hatred for the incredibly rude middle eastern pricks who have invaded Thailand. I call Jihad on them and their hypocritical ways.
We were chased by the cops. I paid off some cops. Someone went to jail.
My baby brother got his Real Estate license while I was out of the country. That came by surprise and added to the reality check of me getting older. That check first came when he turned 30 this year. How does your little brother turn 30? Wow. But I’m very proud of him. Very proud.
My mom found a new boyfriend (she has been single for a while) and is in Love. I have never seen her so happy in my entire life. They even got tattoos like white trash hillbillies. He likes porn, smokes weed, and thinks I have the best job in the word. I’m happy for her and as long as she’s happy… that’s all that matters to me. Go mom! 2006 was a kick as year for her.
Kman tied the knot with a woman. I repeat, Kman tied the knot with a woman. I don’t think I need to go into detail on the magnitude of this for those of you who know him, but for those of you who don’t, it’s as close to Hell freezing over as they come. Speaking of… the above pic is how he gets down. Respect. Please note, there is only one female in that photo.
I wish I could say I did more this year, but it was mostly spent working, traveling or breaking international laws. However, if I had to sum up 2006 in a word… Whores.
So what will I do this year for new years? First I will tell you what I won’t do, and that is a repeat of what I did last year on new years. In fact, I spent it with the same guys that I lost my shoe with (Jscott & Dugmor) and spent it in a drunken stupor barebacking some chubby Thai hooker with ENORMOUS tits on the piss covered bathroom floor of a Go-Go Bar in Pattaya. < insert joke about the first case of 2006 Gonorrhea here > I can assure you I won’t be doing that again.
This year I will be sitting at home, in Kentucky, watching the world have fun on TV. It’s cold and wet. But to be honest, how can I top last year?
Happy New Years to all of you!!! I would tell you to be safe, but we both know there is no fun in that. Safety is for pansies and men named Shelia. Have unprotected sex with a stranger. Lose a shoe. Lose your pants. Get shit faced and drive home. Some of you just laughed, some just thought I was being irresponsible for saying that but we all know it’s reality and it’s going to happen.
HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!
I have a new Sony VX2100 video camera and I had it in my carry on when I left Thailand the last time. It’s on my person, padded, and protected, what can go wrong?
First of all, Suvarnabhumi Airport (the new airport) is beautiful. However, saying that it is 1/2 way between Pattaya and Bangkok is a crock of shit. It shaves off maybe 20 minutes from going to the old airport.
Besides the stories of corruption where millions were swindled by the Thais who were building the place, they went all out on the design and build. However, one issue I have (besides the large signs everywhere inside the airport pointing to the Muslim Prayer Rooms as you depart and go to your plane), is that they allow you to walk through security, get drinks & buy Duty Free items, and then they take them from you before you board the plane. This is Thai idiocy at its best.
Then, after the main security they do another security check right before you get on the plane, and it’s by hand. They look at everything and tear your just re-packed bags apart. Again.
The inconsiderate monkey who dug into my bag tore it to shreds like a starved animal in search of food. Then he piled it all up and literally jumped in the air to put his weight onto my bag to make it all fit. I shit you not. I heard a “crack” and some other noise and screamed at him, pushing him off my bag. In typical Thai idiot fashion, he laughed and said, “no pom-pem.” He then tore into my second bag. I was considering tearing his throat out but figured his meaningless life was not worth wasting mine.
After the bag rape, I didn’t have time to open everything back up and actually check all the items for damage, but I knew something broke. I heard it. I thought it was a piece of carved wood that I was bringing home as a gift.
Guess again.
I just unpacked to find out that cricket eating, uneducated, United Airlines employee actually cracked the mic on the VX2100 and smashed in a button so it is no longer active.
Nothing else in the bag was broke, the “crack” was the camera that cost more than his entire village.
I am so pissed off right now, I would literally burn down his entire village if I knew exactly where it was.
That reminds me…
Thailand’s New Years is called Songkran, and it’s a water festival. I think I blogged about it before.
I was filming Mr. Kincade last year and as we walked past a group of girls I asked them to please not throw water on me because I had my camera. All of them was cool and said OK but was I was passing, this one flea bag whore said, “I don’t care” and dumped an entire bucket of water onto my VX2100 video camera. I don’t recall much after that other than seeing red and wanting to snap her neck. Maybe I did grab her by her neck, I don’t recall now. Have to ask Kincade.
“I don’t care!” She said. What kind of a person do such a thing? Again, this herpes and hepatitis infected whore was probably raised in a shack but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t taught to respect other peoples property. That is the same as me going to her parents thatch roof house and catching it on fire. They would cry and say “please, it’s our only house” and I would say “I don’t care!” and torch it with a smile on my face. Then skin that whore alive and pour rubbing alcohol all over her.
Some of the people in Thailand never ceases to amaze me, and just when you think they can’t out-dumb themselves, they totally go above and beyond the call of duty to prove you wrong. And don’t think it’s just the Thais, because many of the foreigners who visit or live there are just as bad.
Where’s Bird Flu and SARS when ya need it?
Since all of my Yahoo e-mail accounts decided to not work today, I spent some time cleaning up my computer, getting rid of shit I don’t need or use and trying to find out what keeps making it crash. I couldn’t believe how much shit I keep on this thing, I mean it’s fucking filled with porn from me, my friends, the internet, DVD covers, you name it, from all over the world.
Then it hit me, my computer has The Clap.
Knowing how to deal with this from first hand experience I quickly ran to the medicine cabinet to fetch 1000mg of Zithromax and 500mg Ciprofloxin, and ground them into dust.
I then sprinkled that dust into my keypad and left my baby alone for a few hours and wouldn’t you know… clean as a whistle. No more crashes and it’s running like it was fresh out of the box. I can’t say the same for Yahoo, but at least all my systems are GO.
During the clean I found some pics back when I used to film in the USA and actually had fun in the process. Back when the girls enjoyed sucking cock, eating pussy, swallowing sperm and liked to fuck in general. But ahhhh, those days are gone. This one is from my interracial site (TheDirtyWhiteBoy.com) and here very soon it’s getting a long overdue face lift. That site is old as the internet but God damn, it still makes sales. 
These two girls were among my favorites and the coolest to work with. The white one cleaned up her act, found Jesus and actually came to my house to apologize to me once about her behavior. Very strange. I would of accepted a blow job and she could have skipped the forgiveness. I hope she’s found the peace she was searching for.
The black girl, well, I don’t know what happened to her. She was a damn good make-up artist and would do most of the black girls make-up before I shot them. Cool chick, I hope she’s doing alright. Very cool chick.
I desperately want to film some big ass black girls soon. I’m having withdraws and I’m masturbating violently several times a day thinking about black girls. Well, in-between my violent rub off sessions while thinking about big boobed Japanese girls. I guess either one would do the trick right about now.
Anything but Thai girls. Hell, I’ll even come over and film you fucking your old lady if you want. Just let me know!
I’m busier than Michael Jackson at a playground right now with web work so nothing really going on to talk about.
But I did find a photo of what my future ex-wife will have to be able to do in order to even be considered for stealing my money, fucking my friends behind my back and breaking my Grinch heart.