Heathens Highway

This story is worth a read.

Mr. Kincade slips to the dark side. Yea, I know I said I was not going to post for a while but this is blog worthy. Remember how I lost Kincade? Well, he finally showed up just in time to catch our taxi to Pattaya and to let me hear all about his episode from the night before.

Apparently, Mr. Kincade pulled a post-op ladyboy off the street that night and didn’t know until it was too late. For those of you who don’t know what that means, a “post-op” is a transsexual who has had “the surgery” and had his/her cock turned into a pussy. Often these are the prettiest of all ladyboys in Thailand and due to the fact that they take so many hormones, it really can be difficult to tell until it’s too late. Just about every guy I know has been fooled or was close to being fooled by a stunning post-op at one time or another, self included. But I’ll tell ya, mine was straight off the pages of Penthouse Magazine. A perfect 10. It was only the lack of vaginal lubrication that gave her away. However, that is a story for another time.

Kincade tells me a blow by blow of his story and it was similar to mine, but he said that she was so hot and so horny that he didn’t care, and did her anyway. ALL NIGHT LONG AND ALL MORNING LONG!!! Wow! Go Kincade!

When we made it to Pattaya, we dropped off the bags and headed to the mall where I asked him if he was fucking with me or not because this was out of character for him. He turns to me with this face (see pic), and says “do I look like I’m fucking with you? I fucked a ladyboy and liked it.” It was priceless.

Will he continue down this slippery slope? I’m going to bet on yes. Stay tuned!

I have been trying to shoot very little in Thailand these days, but when I do, I like to shoot 1 or 2 movies to pay for my travel expenses. Usually about 5 minutes into the first shoot I find myself thinking, “Why are you doing this? Why are you wasting your time with this bubble gum porn?” Then by the end of the shoot I confirm with myself that it really is not worth the money.

For starters, Thai people are just not sexual. Yea, they will blow darts out of their ass on stage for all to see, but off stage they are generally shy and not really into porn. And yea, they know how to dress like whores, but most of them have no clue what “sexy” really means, even after Justin Timberlake recently brought it back. And yea, there are more prostitutes here selling ass than probably anywhere else on earth, but that doesn’t mean they want to make porn or are any good at it.

They often look the opposite of where you ask them to look, cum without warning, complain they hurt, show up late, leave early, lie about everything and try to pass off bogus IDs on you, and then steal something on the way out the door just for the sake of stealing. And I pay them to do this.

This trip started as a vacation with my brother and turned into another trip from hell. Due to the restrictions on my award ticket, I was not able to go home to care of the problem in my living room. You remember, the one were my ceiling collapsed and it rained in my living room for two weeks while the house sat empty. It still sits a mess, mildewing as I type this.

Luckily my good friend here let me use his gear to shoot a couple of movies to offset my costs. The least I can do for his generosity is give him a link to his site, so please visit OnProbation.com.

Mr. Kincade cashed in some miles to come over for 10 days to help me work. His second day here, he pinched a nerve in his back and is just now getting back on his feet, but he’s still in a lot of pain.

Then I saw this God awful mess.

This once again made me question it all. Here is a tranny who does not care enough about herself to get this taken care of. This is quite possibly the worst case of “something” I have ever seen.

Of course she did not even tell me about this and let me get through 75 photos before I went down for that tranny under shot to see her balls, then SURPRISE!

This dumb cunt actually thought she could do a wack-off scene for me and it would not be noticed.

Out of the goodness of my tiny Grinch heart, I paid her 2000 baht to go to the doctor, but we both knew she was going to by yaabaa (drugs) with it and it would be smoked before the sun would rise.

How could you have this on your nuts and NOT be taking care of it? I mean, look at this shit, you know it hurts, but she is still out selling her asshole every night. Unreal.

It’s very difficult to get motivated to work with people who show up with shit like this on their body and try to lie to you about it, then steal your deodorant on the way out the door.

Amazing Thailand.

At 7:04am my phone rang just about the time where I was nodding off to sleep. It was Thailand’s infamous ladyboy Amy Amour.

Me: This had better be good or someone better be dead, it’s 7am.

Amy: Mr. Dee, what do you do now?

Me: Sleep!!!

Amy: Ok, good. You can come to take my photo now?

Me: You smoking yaabaa?

Amy: No Mr Dee, why you ting-tong so much? I no sa-moke yaabaa.

Me: Mmm hmmm.

Amy: So you take my photo or not? Today I have good heart and I give you for free.

Me: Where do you want to meet?

Amy: The gay beach in Jomtien.

Me: Hmmmm. OK, See you in 30 minutes. You better be there.

I hang up the phone and grab my travel camera. I have this nice Canon Powershot that can take some really nice shots and it’s small and easy to travel with so I take it everywhere with me. So out the door I went.

We met at the “gay beach” (Dongtan Beach) as the sun hit about 200 degrees. I shot a handful of photos of her, and it wasn’t long before she had to squint so I called it a wrap. I explained to her that it would be est if she called me next time BEFORE the sun came up so we can work while it’s cool and the sun is giving off that warm morning glow.

What happened next is still a bit of a blur, but we ended up at a water park. No, a real water park, she did not piss on me, nor I her. A Thai water park is much like the water parks around the rest of the world except they don’t care about the safety of their customers. You can ride the speed slides with people on your back, which we did and she rode me like a surf board. You can attempt to stand up as you fly down the super slide, which we did not do but plenty of the Thai boys did and busted their ass along the way.

Face first, ass first, upside down, and with a topless ladyboy on your back… all is fair game in the land of smiles and chlorine filled water.

Lat me back up a minute and tell you that I last about 5 minutes at this place before injury #1 occurred. She ushered me up to the largest speed slide and demanded that I went first. “You da man, you go first!” I told her. She found that amusing, but pushed me along and somehow I ended up sitting at the top of this shoot looking down into the shallow waters below, where I would soon end up. The thing that worried me the most, besides my size and weight, is that everyone in the water below was only waist deep.

Somehow, I am supposed to come down this slide into waist deep water and not end up a cripple. I’ve done much worse and dangerous things in my life, so off I went.

About 5 seconds into this slide I was struck my fear. I was going waaaaay too fast. The water is going to be too shallow for my fat ass and I’m going to get hurt, there is no question about it. The logical thing to do was to stick my hands to the edges of the fiberglass slide and try to slow myself down.

Dumb idea.

What I actually did was seriously burn, as in major friction burn, 6 of my 10 fingers. This did not actually slow me down but I was going so fast I did not feel the burn at the time.

I hit the water and to my surprise skipped across it and walked out of the pool, at which time my fingers felt like they were being mashed onto a grill. I sucked it up because I did not want to look like a tourist pussy, and headed back up to go one a much smaller and curvy slide where I was to become a human surf board for a transsexual and two small Russian boys who were also allowed, not by me, to mount my body just before I shoved off.

I’m sure it was quite a site. Me, the chunky American, a small transsexual, and two Russian kids about 10 years old each, were speeding down this slide screaming like little girls. For a moment, it was fun. However, the fun didn’t last long and after a few more body surfing trips, I got a wild hair up my ass to go face first, superman style, down the biggest speed slide.

I don’t know exactly how fast I was going but it had to be near the speed of light. I think the shove off is what made it worse because when I hit the first “hump,” I caught air and traveled about 10 feet in the air before having the wind knocked out of my body as I hit, only to pick up more speed. At this stage, it would be normal to shit your pants, but as I found out, humans are unable to shit themselves while traveling the speed of light. Who knew?

What happened next is a little fuzzy, but I do remember hitting the water so fast and going under water. My trunks started to pull off my body because of the speed in which I hit the water. I could feel them slipping off as I was darting underwater and with my hands, I reached out like Christopher Reeves in his finest Hollywood hour.

At this point I could have let them slip off as I’m sure it was not the first time this has happened coming off of this bullet side, and for certain it would not be the first time my pants had fallen off somewhere foreign.

I don’t know where in my mind I thought I could just hunch over and pull up my shorts, but when I made even the slightest tilt of my head, I shot straight down and smashed my head in the shallow water while traveling at a speed that should have killed me or at least broke my neck, in true Superman style. It felt like someone hit me in the head with a large hammer, then I blacked out for a few seconds and came to on my back floating in the water.

My head was spinning, and I didn’t realize how hurt I was, but the little persistent tranny got me up for one more surf ride before I drove her on my moped to her friends house (another hot ladyboy) where they played with Barbie Dolls and made me watch the Victoria Secret DVD while they acted it out. It was a strange afternoon.

After chilling out for a while I knew I needed to have my head looked at as the throbbing was becoming more intense. I knew this feeling well from years of skateboarding as a kid and falling on my head. I spent the next couple hours at the Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital where they checked me out and around 1pm, they confirmed my thoughts of a mild concussion.

It had been a glorious morning but it did not come without injury to my fingers, neck, head, left shoulder, left ear and skin. Oh yea, I think I forgot to mention that my head and face are burnt to a crisp.

If there is a moral to this story, I think it has something to do about not answering your phone at 7am when you are called out of the blue, by a ladyboy.

Hell is…

We learn something new every day, and what I just learned has been driving me crazy for 2 years. But now I know what it is.

Every since I started shooting Asian transsexuals I noticed many of them had a problem where their penis heads could not come outside of the foreskin. Many of them said it was painful when their cocks became hard, and by the looks of things, I believe them.

Well, it turns out they suffer from a medical condition called Phimosis.

This of course also gives the illusion of a limp cock if you are not able to see the head of the penis.

I kept getting mails from my distributor telling me they needed photos of ladyboys with hard cocks, and I was sending them photos with hard cocks. It was very frustrating to say the least, but now I know I have Wikipedia to back me up.

Click Here to see what Wikipedia has to say about Phimosis.

Koko and Jiji are two of my favorite ladyboys to work with.

They are a little older in ladyboy years, but they are super easy to get along with and will do just about anything you ask.

This pic was taken during the Black Ops “Gender Blender” shoot.

Happy 2007 everyone!

The sign posted above is a real sign but they forgot the most important bit of information. In addition to not allowing the Ladyboys upstairs, they forgot to add: “And whatever you do, don’t ever, for any amount of money, let them in the back door.”

I would like to start 2007 with the following advice:

Don’t let the Ladyboys in your back door and you will have a wonderful and prosperous 2007.

So I got my ass kicked by a ladyboy. So what?

She studied Muay Thai for 8 years, I studied Nintendo.

Truth be told, it wasn’t even much of a fight, it was more like a fast massacre.

She was at least nice enough to make me dinner after she tenderized my face. Jenny may be all the nasty things I have said in the past, but she is also an incredible cook. Though afterward, the truth came out that she whacked off on the chicken before she cooked it.

Hell is… getting your ass kicked by a girl with a bigger cock than yours.

Fuckin’ ladyboys. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.

I once had a shirt during my teenage years that said, “Cant sleep, clowns will eat me” and I wore it until it fell apart.

Now I’m much older and everyone knows that clowns are vegetarians, so I no longer fear them.

What I do fear is cock eating ladboys.

That is what keeps me awake at night and this is one of the images that plays over and over in my head until I find my “happy place” and drift into dreamland.

Just in case anyone forgot just what is going on over here.

I’d like to share this photo with you as a friendly reminder.

Any questions?

I’m not going to lie to you, Areeya blew me and it was good.

See, the thing about Ladyboys is that it’s a win-win. All they want to do is get you off. All I want to do is get off. I don’t want to fuck around with foreplay and the games these bitches play, especially games with a hooker.

Just come in, suck me off, take your money and don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. Ladyboys are all about this and so am I. As long as they can keep their pesty cock out of the way, it’s all good.

We ran into her in Phuket while we were scouting ladyboys to shoot a DVD. She apparently is owned (literally) by a some Russian / Israeli and has to ask for permission before she can work for someone else, and they always say no. Must suck to be a slave, but that didn’t stop her from swallowing every drop of cum that she could milk out of my cock.

She wanted me to fuck her bareback and tried to mount me, but I’m not into fucking them. I just like getting BJs. And I certainly wasn’t going to bareback an untested transsexual prostitute from Thailand. No thanks. There are photos of her fucking some whore monger bareback online. If I run across them I’ll post them later. The words “high risk” come to mind when I think about how many guys have shot loads up her ass.

After she made her calls to ask for permission to work with us, they said no, she could not jack off for our DVD. We said no problem and asked her to come along and play topless volleyball with the rest of the ladyboys on a private island we were going to shoot at the next morning. After another call, she wasn’t allowed to do that either.

Oh well, her loss. Making the cover of a handful of DVDs on a global scale would have taken her to another level of international fame, but she’ll have to be happy with being on a few websites and being someone’s slave.

I’m sure she’ll get a lot of exposure online, and the internet is the future, but right now DVD is still killing it and this was a lost opportunity for her.

I am in Phuket right now shooting Ladyboys. So far I have lost 10lbs from sweat, had less that 4 hours of sleep in the last 72 hours and one of our Ladyboys almost perished during our first shoot. I saved her life and grabbed her arm as she literally fell off a cliff. No joke.

She blew me to show her thanks later in the evening. Then we snuggled until I came to my senses.

I’ll try to make a complete post about the shenanigans going on here tomorrow or the day after. Right now we’re knee deep in LB cack (yes, that is spelled correct) and we don’t have a lot of leisure time. Stay tuned.

Gotta run, my big boob Thai cum dumpster is rubbing her beautiful tits on my back and my cack is so hard it hurts. She says, “Sawadee Ka” to you and, “come fuck me now” to me.

Duty calls…..

We took this Christmas photo just for you.

It was shot a few minutes before we shot the first ever Ladyboy bukkake scene. That’s right, each and every one of these sexy ladyboys dropped their load on the face of one lucky ladyboy, the one sitting in the very middle of it all.

13 ladyboys in all.

Of course, it didn’t go down as smooth as we would have liked it to, but we did get a scene out of it.

Merry Christmas!

This is a man made pussy.

Now poke your eyes out and just maybe you can forget what you have seen here.

Or… get on a plane and fly 24 hours to bang out a hot post-op ladyboy.

Sorry.

Transsexuals often take hormones and this can cause them to have soft cocks. Normally that is not an issue, but when you’re shooting porn, you need a hard cock.

It’s a good thing we have Hicks around to fluff them.

This pic is a snapshot of Hicks doing what he does best. But in this case, nothing was going to get this little ladyboy hard. She was the little ladyboy who thought she could.

She flat out lied to me about being able to get hard and had nothing but a limp baby dick the entire time. It was a wasted time and wasted money, as I make it a point to sell ladyboy porn where all of the ladyboys have hard cocks.

At least Hicks got to suck some dick. After this shoot we went to see King Kong. Made me forget all about limp ladyboy cocks for 3 hours.

As predicted, things got way out of hand over here. Hicks was skull fucked by a Ladyboy tonight. I’m not sure where to go from here.

You never know what is going to happen on a shoot. Usually they go somewhat as planned. Sometimes they don’t. And sometimes you are given little gifts that make it all worthwhile.

Today I was given a small gift.

We were filming a ladyboy bukkake scene (the first ever I believe) and I took my eye off the camera and scene for just a moment to make sure I was not going to step on something I didn’t want to step on, and I saw what you see in the photo.

This was totally unexpected and the last time I saw him, he was fully dressed in the other room.

Good laughs.

What a night last night. I had two Thai hookers sucking me off in the blow job bar and drained every drop of nut from my balls. It was incredible.

After the BJs, we headed to Nana Plaza where we met a ladyboy named Nadia who has a 10 inch cock. For a Brazilian that may be the norm but for an Asian transsexual, it is just insane. It is bat shit crazy. Notice there are 4 hands on it and the head still pops out of the top! And yes, both the small ladyboy and the guy took it in the ass until they bled.

It is true that we learn something new every day.

Today I learned that when shemales take hormones, they can produce milk from their tits just like a genetically born woman.

My simple meat and potatoes mind is having a hard time digesting this one.

Ok, so it’s true. I have fallen in love with a ladyboy and her name is Eye.

It was love at first site.

And once she wrapped her warm lips around my throbbing cock, I was shouting out my ATM pin number.

She had me at “Sawadee Kha” and now she will be adding me to her list of boyfriends who send her money every month via Western Union, but she says I’m her number one boyfriend, and I believe her.