Category Archives for: Thinking Out Loud

South American Pimps

20 September 2005 by dwb

Sadly, all of us in the industry deal with pimps for talent some time or another. It may be the person running the “model agency”, a boyfriend or sometimes a real pimp that owns the girls and controls their every move. No, I’m not talking about Tera Patrick’s husband Evan (who’s a pretty decent guy), I’m talking about REAL PIMPS, not wanna be pimps. I’m talking about Pimps that will smack the taste out of your mouth and shank you if you cross him.

Now we’re in Cali, Colombia and in a few hours I am meeting with a Colombian pimp to see his selection of girls. If I am lucky 2 or 3 of them will be cute enough to shoot and this pimp will not become a pain in my ass and cause problems. Many of the guys running girls in this city are also connected with a drug cartel so it’s one of those delicate situations where you don’t want to find yourself stepping on any shoes or you very well may end up floating in a river somewhere. Hey, this is Colombia, shit like that happens.

I have dealt with pimps all over the world at one time or another and nothing makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up more than the Pimps here. Some of them are just down right scary. I don’t like guns and don’t I like guys who will use them on me even more. Maybe I should just send Sand and Kincade to deal with this guy today. What’s the worst that could happen? Heh.

Yea, I’m scum. I know. Being a “good guy” didn’t pay the bills.

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, Keepin It Real, On The Road, Porno, Thinking Out Loud | Tags: Cali, Colombia, Pimps

Goat meat is the answer

19 September 2005 by dwb

I love to eat almost as much as I love to fuck. Almost. Not just any food that you put in front of me, but BAD food. Chocolate, pizza, French fries, ice cream… pretty much everything that will give me a heart attack.

For the past 4 weeks I have been living on shit food. Mostly pizza and chocolate bars because the food in Colombia is just horrible. You can only eat so much chicken and beef before you snap. The smell of these two meats make me want to vomit right now. I have eaten at least 100 birds and a few cows on this trip, I’m sure of it.

Maybe goat meat is the answer? I started drinking warm goat milk the other day it to be honest with you, it wasn’t that bad. Kind of thick, but really not bad. That reminds me, we have been trying to get Kincade to drink cow milk straight from the tit for a case of beer. That fucker will do just about anything for beer but for some reason he wont suck a cows tit. Go figure.

I hear there is a waffle restaurant somewhere in the city and that’s going to be my mission for today. A Belgium waffle with ice cream and strawberries on it. I’ve got 83% wood just thinking about it.

Step 1

Step 2

Step 3

Maybe it’s time to become a vegetarian.

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, On The Road, Random Photos, Thinking Out Loud | Tags: Colombia, Food, Random Photos

Bogota’s baddest bitches

07 September 2005 by dwb

Its raining here in Bogotá and it’s COLD. Bogotá is a mountain city and its always a little cool here but tonight is like December in Ohio cold. It’s freezing, I shit you not.

Anyhoo… we hooked up with a friend of Sands who is a local TV producer and he took us around tonight to some upscale private whore houses. Here the girls dress in nice dresses and it is not open to the public. He got us in and my eyes fell out of my head withing 30 seconds of walking in the door.

If you can, picture a Miss Universe contest where the most beautiful women on the earth are there. Now picture them Latin with long black hair and beautiful skin. Now picture them all staring at YOU wanting you and coming up to you, rubbing your cock outside your pants and whispering something in Spanish in your ear. They could of been telling me I was a fat, balding hunk of shit but it sounded so sexy I almost blew a load in my pants with each whisper.

These were top Colombian models and TV actresses who turn tricks with the wealthy for big bucks. $500+ USD and up was the price for ONE HOUR with these girls. Yes, they were that hot. Lucky for me I didn’t have $500 at the time because I may of been dumb enough to spend it. That is a huge leap from the normal $35 for an hour to nail normal Colombian girls in some of the locals whore houses.

We were asking some of them about making a video and the lowest price we got was… get this… $5000.00 USD. Yes, thats 5 grand!!!! Fuck me. That is just insane. But they were THAT hot. Do you remember the models with retards? Well, those chicks are not fit to wipe the asses of these chicks. Yes, that hot. I’ve never seen women so beautiful in all my life.

Like poor ass punks, none of us did anything with the girls and left with throbbing hard-ons. I’m sure Kincade is rubbing one off right now in his room as I type this. Actually, that just made me think. I should get a spy cam and stream it from his room every night just to show you guys how this guy likes to dry hump his pillow. OK, I’m getting off topic.

I have a shoot in the morning with a pretty girl with huge tits so I’m off to count Colombia sheep. I bet even the sheep are hot here. Uno, dos, tres, quatro . . . zzzzzzzzzzz

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, On The Road, Thinking Out Loud, Whores | Tags: Colombia, Whores

Say What?

06 September 2005 by dwb

As we move to another city to track down a few guys who will bareback trannies in the ass, I find myself saying things that shock me as they leave my lips.

Let me share my top 10 favorites:

1. “I don’t have time to hang out in a strip club, I’m only here for the trannies. The women can wait.”

2. “No hookers for anyone until we find a pretty tranny with a working cock.”

3. “Do you want the tranny to cum in your ass or on your face?”

4. “Kincade, please don’t go and get drunk right now, I’m going to need your hard dick in a few hours.”

5. “Yes, I do think your pretty but I need to find some transsexuals first. Do you know any?”

6. “I swear I’m not gay or bi, its all for work. Honestly. Stop laughing. Hey, where are you going? I like girls. I love girls. OK… bye. I understand.”

7. “Sand, I need your hard cock over here right now. Rapido por favor!”

8. “Where are all the trannies? No? Donde esta la transvesties?”

9. (to hotel security) “Is it OK to bring girls to the room? Great… how about transsexuals? No? OK… bye.”

10. “I don’t ask for much. All I need is 10 shemales who can get hard and cum. Oh, and they have to be passable and be willing to take an HIV test and bareback on video.”

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, On The Road, Preposterousness, Thinking Out Loud | Tags: Colombia, Say What?, What The Fuck

Latina Cleavage

25 August 2005 by dwb

If any of you have been to a Latin country, or maybe even live in an area that is thick with Latinas, you will know that the women LOVE to show off their cleavage. To the point that it’s unhealthy. To the point that you eye ball them thinking of ways to rip their shirts off and get away with it. All day it’s an overkill of boobs coming at you.

Right now, I’m sitting in an internet cafe and the rack on the girl working here is enough to turn a man into a sex offender. Seriously. I’m guessing she is a natural DD and 70% of her tits are showing with monster cleavage. She has on a tight tank top with boobs to just die for. Boobs to KILL FOR! Wars are started over tits like this. Brothers kill brothers over tits like this. And eventually, the end of mankind will come because of boobs like this. And God dammit, if “death by titties” is how I’m going to go, that is a noble death.

I need to get out of here and rub one off. I’ll be back later.

Leave a comment | Categories: Colombia, Thinking Out Loud | Tags: Colombia, Hot Girls, Hotness

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