How many Kilos?
At about 4am this morning I was stuck under a ledge outside of a 7-11 while it was raining sideways. It just so happened that also stuck with me was 6 bar girls who were all getting on a little digital scale to see how many kilos they weigh. It only costs 1 baht (less than 3 cents) to do this and it occupies the whores.
I’m watching these fuck pigs giggle and try to guess the others weight. Being bored out of my skull I jumped in and asked them how many kilos they thought I weighed. A few giggles and then the guesses started… 98, 102, 105, 95, 100 and 99.
All wrong.
I know this because I was on the scale last night, but I felt like fucking with these girls because anyone who has spent any amount of time here knows how much Thai people LOVE to gamble.
I asked them if they wanted to put money on it and without a seconds thought they all said yes. After some hustling, I was able to get them up to 400 baht (about $10 USD) each, which is a chunk of change for a fat bar girl. The deal was that if any of them guessed my weight, I would pay them 400 baht each. However, if they were all wrong, they would all pay me 400 baht. It was a deal.
We all got out our money and let a moto bike taxi driver hold it. That was a stupid thing to do but it was raining so hard I had doubts that he would run with it, and he didn’t. But he was equally curious to see how much this fat falang weighed.
I asked them again, one at a time, how much they thought I weighed.
98… 102… 105… 95… 100 and 99, they said.
I didn’t have change on me so one of the pigs paid for for the scale. They all started pushing me to get on the scale so I stepped on it. The scale sang it’s little song and displayed “107.5 Kilos” in a bright red digital font. Booyah! I win. I may be a pig myself, but to beat a Thai girl in any game is a great accomplishment.
The girls piss and moan but the taxi driver hands me the money and I walk away just as the rain is letting up. I was able to get around 20 feet down the sidewalk when I see a girl I just had to short-time. So right in front of the losers, I told this girl I wanted to take her to a short-time room and to bring her friend. I’d would pay them each 1000 baht if they fucked me and each other. Deal. You know the rest of that story.
To recap… I won a bet, fucked two girls, watched a lesbian show and still had 400 baht in my pocket. Tonight was a good night.
I think I found a new hustle in the Land Of Smiles. I’m going to start hanging out around town at all the baht scales and hustle drunk bitches for my time money. So if you see a chubby white guy always hanging out at the scales… that’s me. Come up and place your bet.